The Costumed Curse
"Hey Ron, what should we be for Hallowe'en this year?"
"Haha, you're kidding, right?"
"Of course. It's been what, 5 years now that we've dressed up as pirates?"
"Something like that. I mean, if you really want to, we can be something else..."
"Arrr, not on yer life, matey!"
"Great. Hey, this year I was thinking we should go all out. Like, all authentic pirate gear."
"Sounds great, but expensive."
"Yeah, you're probably right, but I can take a look downtown. Can't hurt to check!"
"True dat. Anyway, I have to get back to work. Let me know if you find anything!"
"K, see ya later."
As I hung up the phone, I thought about the party that Ronny and I were going to this year. I wasn't real excited about it; we'd have to drive over an hour to get there, and the hosts were only acquaintances. However, we didn't really have any other options, so it would have to do. Plus, it was the one time Ron and I got to act like pirates without everyone thinking we were crazy.
***
"Em, you'll never guess what I found!"
"Okay, tell me."
"There's this costume shop that I always pass by on the way to work. The windows are all dirty, and the display is covered in dust. Not the type of establishment I usually frequent. Anyway, I went shopping at lunch and couldn't find a thing, so I stopped at this place on the way home. There was this really crusty old guy working there, but we got chatting and he was really nice. He used to be a sailor! He was telling me about how he used to go to all kinds of bazaars when they had shore-leave, and look for interesting clothing."
"Okay, so did you find something?"
"Just a sec, I'm getting to it. Anyway, he asked what kind of costume I was looking for, and I said pirate, and he got all hushed and led me into this back room. He got out these two musty outfits. At first I was kinda unsure, but then I took a closer look, and man... they're amazing! You gotta see 'em!"
"Authentic pirate?"
"Totally! The guy told me they were actually worn by pirates, and he picked them up in Jamaica, or something, but I dunno. They do have a couple tears, but we can probably fix 'em pretty easily. You gotta check 'em out!"
"Man, I don't think I have time before the 31st."
"Oh. Well, that's okay. At least you won't have to worry about it fitting perfectly. These things are pretty shapeless."
Driving over to Ronny's on Hallow's eve, I pondered our previous pirate costumes. The first year I had just worn a black t-shirt with the Jolly Roger on it, a cheesy captain's hat, and boots. Ronny's was similar. The next year we stepped it up a bit, getting bits and pieces from Value Village. The two years after that we just improved the second year's costumes with better shirts, and more and more pirate paraphernalia. I hoped Ron was right about these ones. I was tired of being second-rate.
***
"Whoa, Ron, that's amazing!" When I got there he was decked out in his gear, practising his swagger. "What's with that fabric?"
"I think it's called calico. Pretty sweet, huh? Here's yours, put it on!"
I changed quickly and looked in the mirror. When I tied the kerchief around my head, I looked like an entirely different person. I looked like a pirate!
"Wow," Ronny exclaimed as I walked into the room. "Oh, and I forgot to tell you something!"
"What's that?"
"The old man threw in these," and he pulled out two sheaves from a velvet bag.
"Are those... real swords?"
"Yeah!"
"Uh, I dunno if I feel comfortable carrying a sword around."
"Come on, you don't even have to take it out of the sheaf. Just wear it."
"Fine!" I attached the sheaf to my belt. The sword was heavier than I expected. I turned around when I heard a crash behind. Ron was practising his sword maneuvres and had knocked over a lamp.
"Jeez man, be more careful! Good thing it's not broken." As he put his sword back into the sheaf, I noticed something on his neckerchief.
"Hey Ron, what's that?"
"What?" He looked where I pointed. "Looks like a monogram. JC. Does yours have one, too?"
I checked. "Yeah, AB! Huh. Must have been the last people who owned the costume. Anyway, we have to go."
"Aye, ye be right. After ye, m'lady."
On the long ride, I remembered something I had read on the Internet the last time I looked up pirates. Anne Bonny and Calico Jack!
***
"Ron, this party be borin'" I whispered.
"Yer right, lass. These lubbers don't even have any good grog. What say we spice it up a bit, eh?"
Before I knew it, Ron had his sword out, and was standing on a chair.
"A'right, ye bilge rats! I've just about had enough o' you lot. Gimme yer gold, and no one'll get hurt! Smartly, now!"
Everyone looked at him, thinking he was joking. When I leaped onto a chair too, people started to get uneasy.
"Arrr, ye heard the man! Captain Calico Jack wants yer loot!" Then, I jumped down and pulled out my sword. The closest person to me was a fairly large guy, but that didn't matter. I yanked him in front of me and held my sword around his neck. "Everyone get movin', or I'll cut 'is throat!"
By this time people were starting to take us seriously. Ron graciously accepted the wallets, watches, and various goods people were handing him. He pulled out the velvet bag that the swords came in, and started stuffing the booty in.
"Arr, Anne, now I know what this bag really be for!" As soon as the last girl had emptied her pockets, Jack and I started walking to the door, swords in front of us.
"Arrr! You'll never forget the day ye were robbed by Calico Jack and Anne Bonny! "
And with that, we headed for the sea.
